The INSIDER Summary:
- There are a number of ways wedding guests can ruin people’s weddings.
- INSIDER spoke to wedding planner Amy Shey Jacobs of Chandelier Events to find out the worst things she has seen guests do.
- They include staring at their phone during the ceremony, sharing a photo of the bride’s dress on social media before the groom has seen it, and hooking up on the dance floor.
There are a lot of things that can go wrong if you’re planning a wedding. But it’s not just the bride and groom who make mistakes.
Being a wedding guest comes with certain responsibilities — and there are a number of ways you could be ruining someone’s big day without even realizing it.
INSIDER spoke to wedding planner Amy Shey Jacobs of the New York City-based company Chandelier Events to find out what things guests should never do, based on what she has witnessed at weddings.
Here are the worst offenders.
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You forget to RSVP.
No one really mails anything anymore. But if there’s one thing worth paying postage for, it’s the RSVP card to a wedding invitation.
Sending it late is bad manners, and not replying at all is even worse.
“It’s easy to goof on getting your reply in on time. But leaving a couple in the dark about your intentions with attending/not attending is more stressful to them than one might think,” Jacobs told INSIDER. “For couples planning a wedding, so much depends on getting RSVPs on time. So if you forgot to reply, let them know ASAP if you can or cannot be there!“
Her solution: “If you get an invite, make it a practice to RSVP right away (email, text, DM, whatever) and follow up with the real snail mail card.”
You ignore the registry.
“Wedding registries are there to pretty much guarantee that you’re going to buy a gift that they [the bride and groom] are going to want,” Jacobs said.
You can go an extra step and make your run-of-the-mill registry gift more personal.
“Sometimes a bunch of $10 kitchen gadgets don’t always seem so impressive but you can personalize them by bundling them together and gifting with a monthly meal prep membership,” the planner said. “Get creative and never re-gift! It’s totally obvious.”
Your invite doesn’t give you a plus one, but you ask for one anyway.
Weddings are expensive, and couples don’t always have the budget or venue space to invite as many people as they would like.
“Unless your invitation specifically invited you with a plus one, never make the assumption or ask if you can bring a date,” Jacobs said. “If you aren’t invited with a guest, never complain about it to the couple. Chances are, the couple has thought through their numbers based on a lot of factors such as room capacity, budget, and even the fact that they want to keep things a certain size.”
For unattached wedding guests, it’s not so bad. In Jacob’s words, “Smile and enjoy that singles table!”