Seth Stephens-Davidowitz, New York Times writer, former Google data scientist, and author of “Everybody Lies” reveals the common language used on successful first dates. Following is a transcript of the video.
We used to think of data as surveys, very structured answers, right? A checkbox, yes, no, or a number you put in, 101, 102, 103, whatever. And now data is kind of the wild unstructured world on the internet and one of the big types of data is text.
So, scientists followed daters around on speed dates and they had recorders with them and then at the end of the date they said whether they wanted to go on a second date. So the scientists could measure what words used on a first date suggest that people are going to want a second date.
A man can increase his odds of getting a second date if he shows support. If he says things like, “that must be tough,” or, “that sounds hard.” He can also increase the odds of a second date if he laughs at a woman’s jokes and doesn’t interrupt her constantly, which probably isn’t rocket science.
The most beautiful word to a heterosexual man’s ears on a first date is the word “I.” When a woman talks about herself more, it’s actually a sign that she likes him, she feels comfortable opening up. And actually, women I think frequently think that they should not talk too much about themselves, but that’s also wrong in the data. Men like women talking, opening up, telling stories about their own lives. They’re more likely to like the woman and agree to a second date.