The INSIDER Summary:
- A woman wrote into an advice column after her husband’s best man proposed to his girlfriend and announced her pregnancy during the wedding ceremony.
- She wondered if she and her husband should end the friendship with him.
- The advice columnist said that they should discuss it and see if they can work it out.
- Twitter was not so understanding and many said they would be livid.
There are very many wonderful places to propose, like the scene of your first date, at a fancy dinner, or on a romantic trip.
One place that I would not recommend popping the question, however, is at someone else’s wedding. But that’s exactly what one man decided was a great idea.
A woman wrote into Slate’s advice column “Dear Prudence” last week to ask advice after her husband’s best friend — who was serving as best man and officiant at their wedding — decided to propose to his girlfriend during their wedding ceremony. He also dropped the bomb that they were expecting a child together.
The writer said the news caused such a commotion that she couldn’t even hear the vows she and her new husband wrote for each other. Later, the best man gave a toast where he talked about his girlfriend and even requested they have a special dance together during the wedding.
Naturally, she was upset and wrote into “Dear Prudence” asking if she and her husband should end the friendship or if they were overreacting.
“I am so shocked and angry that I keep asking myself if this is real life,” the bride wrote. “My husband hasn’t spoken to John since the wedding, and our mutual friends think what he did was rude but that my husband should just get over it. My husband has joked that he’ll resume his friendship when John and Jane give him a $40,000 check for ‘their half of the wedding.'”
Here’s her full story below:
My husband and I started dating, got pregnant, had a child, moved in together, bought a house, and got a dog in that order. Our friends and family have asked us for years why we weren’t married yet. We always pushed it off to build better lives. We’ve done really well for ourselves and finally reached a point where we could afford a huge blowout wedding to celebrate our lives with everyone we know and love. My husband’s best friend, “John,” was the best man/officiant.
The setting was beautiful, everyone seemed happy, our families were overjoyed. My mom may have used the phrase hallelujah a few dozen times. The entire atmosphere felt moving. So moving in fact that John stopped midceremony to propose to his longtime girlfriend, ‘Jane,’ and reveal her pregnancy. I couldn’t even hear the vows my husband wrote or the rest of the ceremony over the noise of Jane’s happy sobs, her very surprised family who were also guests, and people seated nearby congratulating her. Even the videographer cut to her frequently during the ceremony, and you can’t hear anything over the chatter.
When John gave his toast, he apologized for being caught up in the moment, and then proceeded to talk about he and Jane’s future with nary a mention of us. During the reception John and Jane became the primary focus of our guests. John even went out of his way to ask the band for a special dance for just him and Jane on the dance floor. I’ve never been an attention hog, and I wouldn’t even have minded if he’d proposed after the ceremony, but weeks later I am still seething.
I am so shocked and angry that I keep asking myself if this is real life. My husband hasn’t spoken to John since the wedding, and our mutual friends think what he did was rude but that my husband should just get over it. My husband has joked that he’ll resume his friendship when John and Jane give him a $40,000 check for ‘their half of the wedding.’ Do you think John’s behavior warrants the end of a long-term friendship, or are we angry over nothing?
“Prudence,” aka Mallory Ortberg, offered measured and sage advice, saying that the couple should have a discussion and if they can reconcile, great! If not, they can decide to part ways with the best man.
“Whatever the outcome, there is definitely at least one step in between ‘seething silently’ and ‘cutting John loose forever,’ especially since the two of them have been best friends for a long time,” she wrote.
People on Twitter were far less forgiving.
DO NOT TRY THIS AT MY WEDDING. I can fight in a tux. https://t.co/EB21LWmF0Q
— dp3 (@dpalm66) June 2, 2017
He stopped officiating the wedding to propose? If he drowns in some holy water there & then the lord will understand https://t.co/k2826Hjr37Advertisements